8 Common Mistakes
Learning how to lick a vagina
properly will make your lady feel beautiful and sexy. You will notice
how happy she seems all the time and you’ll see a massive increase the
number of random favors she performs for you. A lot of women prefer
oral sex to intercourse (especially if she’s never had a
vaginal orgasm). A key to great oral sex is figuring out what turns her
on the most and then doing those things. The only way to figure this
out is to pay attention to her body language and her reactions to your
stimulation. Let’s take a look at some common mistakes that guys make
when
learning how to lick a vagina.
1] Poor Foreplay and Poor Patience
When I say poor foreplay, I don’t mean
the same ole knowledge you hear time and time again when it comes to
foreplay: “slow down, do it longer, and more often.” While that advice
is important, I assume it is written by people who have never seen a
woman get aroused than most men can. Women get aroused, if all things
equal (her mood, stress levels, health, etc) based on how she perceives
you sexually and how well she knows you can open her and show her new
levels of her sexuality she has never experienced before…in essence,
sexual trust.
If you give her 4 things, then poor
foreplay is a thing of the past. What are those four things? Dan Rose
says they are dominance, emotion, variety, and immersion. That’s what I
mean by poor foreplay, lacking on one or more of those 4 parameters.
Patience…What I mean by patience in this
context is being able to read her and know where she is in terms of
arousal. Along with having the ability to “hold space” for her and give
her what she needs in that moment to be relaxed, but highly aroused.
Holding space simply means she can FULLY express her sexually in any way
without being judged by you. Also, being impatient can come off as
uncaring and not having the ability to relax into your own
emotional/mental state.
Whatever you feel, she feels.
Keep that in mind. If you convey
relaxed, open and aroused…she’ll pick up on it and feel that as
well. Patience also refers to not going directly for what turns her own
(clit, nipples, etc.)…try going from indirect then to direct and see how
she responds.
2] Showing No Enthusiasm
Women like enthusiastic oral sex just
the same as men! Nothing excites her more than knowing you find her
taste delicious and you can’t wait to please her! Allow yourself to
become intoxicated by the smell of her luscious vulva.
Use a taking touch.
Touch her in a way that feels good to your tongue
and fingers. Sounds counterintuitive, but trust me, it works! Tease
and caress her body with this “taking touch” and see if you get the same
insanely effective results I do.
3] Using Only A Firm Tongue Instead Of A Soft Wet One
A firm tongue is great for stimulating
very specific parts of her vulva and clitoris, but many women prefer a
soft tongue, at least until they are very aroused. If you still can’t
break your iron tongue habit, then use it along with a soft tongue. The
good thing is, when being gentle with a soft wet tongue, there is
almost nothing you can do that will feel bad.
4] Not Calibrating
This is quite possibly the worst mistake
because it shows her that you aren’t paying attention to her body and
the fastest route to not giving her an orgasm. You end up sticking with a
licking technique or speed or rhythm that she doesn’t like so she never
builds any sexual tension and thus does not have an orgasm. Not
calibrating means there was a change that has occurred in her body and
your response (or lack thereof) wasn’t what she needed at that point in
time. Common calibrating errors include:
Licking too fast or too hard
Licking the wrong speed (she wants you to lick X but you’re licking Y)
Licking the same pattern/rhythm when her body shows signs of decreasing arousal
Not doing X long enough
The last mistake above results from not
paying attention to her arousal level. She may have wanted you to stay
with the same technique X but you went to technique Y and now she has to
build that pleasure all over again. Wait until she/her body is giving
you signs of decreased arousal or plateauing before you change anything.
Also, If she is about to come, keep everything the same until she has
an orgasm.
Cunnilingus is often about walking the
middle path….in other words BALANCE! Stillness and movement. Fast and
slow. Hard and soft. Long and short. The play between two extremes will
rouse an unquenchable thirst for orgasm in her
5] Ignoring Her Body Language
This one is similar to the above
mistake. If she isn’t enjoying what you are doing she will pull away
from you in some fashion with her hips or she might push you away. If
she likes what you are doing or wants more (more pressure, speed,
intensity, consistent rhythm, etc) she will pull you closer or arch her
body in your direction. If she’s tense, slow down and give her a sensual
massage or move back to foreplay and kissing.
6] Pulling Away Too Soon While She Is Still Coming
Simple solution: Stay there until she tells you to stop or she pushes you away
7] Inconsistent Technique
Variations in techniques and rhythm are
only useful if they are increasing her arousal or at the very least,
sustaining her arousal. It’s possible to give a woman an orgasm with a
single rhythm if you are paying attention to her body. You simply have
to “listen” to when her pleasure is waning, and then you stop or slow
down and begin again. The point I’m trying to make is pick a few
licking variations, maintain a rhythm that gets her closer to orgasm and
focus mainly on where her arousal level is. Change your technique or
rhythm only when her arousal is decreasing; this requires careful
attention.
8] Pleasure Desensitization:
If you stimulate the same area the same
way for a period of time, the nerves in that area become less sensitive
to the pleasure over time (desensitized). For example, if you
constantly stroke her clit the same way, the pleasure will decrease once
nerves have gotten “tired” of that rhythm/speed. The purpose of the
variety of licks in the beginning is to bypass the habituation until her
arousal is high enough that when she nears orgasm, one constant rhythm
is no longer an issue; mixing things up when she is near orgasm just
leads to frustration on her part.
You can bring a woman to orgasm using one rhythm, but it’s better to insert pauses in between to give her nerves a rest.
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